"If my aim is to prove I am 'enough', the project goes on to infinity - because the battle was already lost on the day I conceded the issue was debatable."
Hey, precious.
How have your been doing? Taking care of your precious self, hmm? I really hope you are, you are important - not because of your status, work, achievements or position in someone's life, but because you have a beating heart.
Being alive is what should be the necessity to treat yourself with utmost care, love, understanding, support and appreciation.
Ever wondered why children are so delighted? Why their happiness is so contagious? Why they are said to be a serotonin booster? Well honestly, there are plenty but I would like to share the one which truly drew my attention.
Because they are happy to be alive, to be in the moment, to have what they have, to have who they have. They are not content because they are living more than the child next door, or have much better lives than their friends or have more people at their call- but they content to just have theirs.
Which is something we overlook as we grow up. Why? Because unknowingly we start doing what our elders do- start comparing ourselves with others. Start pondering over our worth over the satisfaction we bring back to our parents, over the benefits we are able to give to our friends, over the achievements we are able to accomplish. And then when a disappointment comes from our parents, friends leaves us or we falter somewhere - we wonder our worth. We stumble around this concept till we have doubted our value so much that we settle on being enough- for the sake of our mental peace. And at that point comes the first quote you read.
You are enough, you always have been. What you gained is just another fruit on your tree, what you lost is another leaf that you shed. Fruits and leaves do hold significance, but they are not completing you. As you grow, your branches will grow, more fruits will be bore, more leaves will be shed, but if you keep inflating and deflating on these natural phenomenon than how will you ever cherish your presence? Your growth? Your worth?
And I know it's hard to step out from that pedestal where you have been all your life, but if you just dare to look around, you will notice there is no audience. Everyone is standing on the same pedastal afraid to be themselves because they are scared of the imaginary audience judging them. Afraid they might not come up with expectation of others, might not be as good as others, might not be as social as others, might not be as happy as others. But the question is - So what, precious? You are here to bring your own colour in the myraid of shades, you are your own person, your own happiness, your own field. You were sent to embrace yourelf while admiring the various souls surrounding you. But with the coure of time, you started shielding yourself because other seems like they suited more?
If you plant a mangrove in a desert, will it ever grow? But if you plant it near water, it will flourish. We are just like that. We are our own kind, We need differen climates, different nutrients, different soil to grow and flourish. We might not bear the tasty fruits but we have our own function to serve. So, whenever you find yourself thinking - Why am I different? Remember this para. Whenever you doubt your worth or try to prove yourself that you are enough - remember that you need to be yourself, to chose your choices, to embrace your likings, to colour your own canvas. If you do find yourself doing all these things, accepting yourself as a unique being instead of weird one, then you will realise how important you are.
Now my mid month check ups-
How's your september going? How many works have you ticked off? How much progress you have made? Where have you faltered? What new things have you adopted? Anyone new you met this month? Anyone who left you? An incidence that brought smile on your face? Something that made you sad? Did my questions elicited answers from you? Did you think? I hope you do, because to learn more about ourselves we need to be aware of ourselves. We need to introspect and I may not be asking you any deep questions but these questions will make you look back and see how far you have come, how much things have changed- things which we don't usually pay attention.
It's fine to go on your own face, but atleast take notice of your growth, your forward journey. You have come far long. You are doing great, precious. I am proud of you, truly, I am. And I really hope you are too. You should be. You owe this pride and apprecitaion to yourself, to your younger self. When we are child, we were happy to tackle another problem and feel the bliss of it. How will your younger self feel when he/she will realise that despite going through so many things, coming so far, you still haven't patted yourself on your back?
So, appreciate yourself and your efforts. World follows your lead, but when you recognize your efforts, your heart doesn't need someone else's recognisition.
"When we have inconflicted self esteem, our motive is not to prove our worth but to live our possibilities." - Six Pillars of Self Esteem.
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